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Posts Tagged ‘pointless’

Reading through a food blog when I noticed the author bleeped the word “porn.”

Like, she actually wrote p*rn.

I don’t know about you guys, but in my experience, an asshole looks way more like an asterisk than an “o” does. Therefore, she has offended me by putting a browneye right in the middle of a perfectly good word that describes something legal, safe, and healthy. Unlike a butthole, which can fart right in your eye and make you go blind!

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My evil plan

I made the awesome peanut butter cookies for a friend of mine who works out, like, 80% of the time. He greatly enjoyed them, especially when he found out how much protein was in them.

Also, I embarrassed myself at Whole Foods: my husband asked me to buy some ground beef with as high a fat content as possible.

ME: “I NEED YOUR FATTIEST GROUND BEEF.”
WHOLE FOODS LADY: “Is 16% okay?”
ME: “I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.”

Dude, what do I know from meat? Also, why the fuck are there so many carbs in broccoli; it seems unfair.

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