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Posts Tagged ‘olive oil’

The following recipe comes from the Something Awful Forums; which is the best thing on the internet. Their Goons With Spoons subforum is a great place for both amateur and professional cooks to ask questions and share ideas, and there’s literally no culinary query that goes unanswered. Also has an Iron Chef competition.

Make this recipe for when you have people over, or when you need a lot of leftovers. And use fresh ginger, dammit!

PEANUT-SQUASH STEW, thanks to SA goon EVG for posting the original

MAKES FIFTY THOUSAND SERVINGS

1 cup peanut butter

1 butternut squash (or other winter squash), peeled, cored, and cut into cubes

1 can tomatoes (not whole, but not sauce)

12 oz tomato juice (I have used V8 juice in this recipe with good results, but I’ve also forgotten the juice component altogether and used water or broth sparingly to thin it out.)

200g tofu, sliced or diced

1 cup cilantro

5-6 cloves of garlic

3 TBSP ginger

1/2 onion

Thyme

Red pepper flakes/cayenne (optional)

Black pepper

Olive oil

Oregano

1. Get your squash all naked and spread wide open. Awww, yeah.

2. Cut it into bite-sized (or smaller) cubes. (This part should not be sexy.)

3. Saute squash chunks in olive oil, along with tofu, red pepper, onions, ginger, and garlic. Cook until squash starts to soften, ~10-15 minutes.

4. Add juice, tomatoes, salt (to taste), and other spices. Simmer until squash is tender (~5-10 minutes).

5. Add cilantro, then peanut butter.

6. Stir peanut butter in until mixture becomes orangey in colour. Continue to simmer until stew reaches required thickness- I find that it’s a fine thickness shortly after the peanut butter is added, but your mileage may vary.

7. Serve in a variety of ways, as follows:

INTERESTED-IN-CARBS PARTIES: Rice, either white or brown.

LOW-CARB CHAMPIONS: Shredded chicken.

LOW-CARB VEGETARIANS WHO ARE INSANE PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF: Nothing! It’s very good on its own. Or cauli-rice.

CRAZY PEOPLE: AAA batteries.

This stew is great for a few days in the fridge, and it reheats well. Perfect for lunches. It’s also vegan and incredibly kid-friendly. Feel free to put some dark leafy greens like spinach or kale in it. This is FILLING AS HELL. Trust me, I really don’t recommend adding the rice at all. I’ve also used lovage in this recipe instead of cilantro (my husband is bad at herbs) and it was surprisingly good, so feel free to switch out the cilantro if you don’t like it.

NUTRITIONAL INFO:

  • Servings Per Recipe: 7
  • Amount Per Serving
  • Calories: 371.0
  • Total Fat: 28.0 g
  • Cholesterol: 0.0 mg
  • Sodium: 133.0 mg
  • Total Carbs: 24.2 g
  • Dietary Fiber: 4.4 g
  • Protein: 11.6 g

Here’s the link to the original thread, and an ACTUALLY RELATED PICTURE which I did not take:

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Here’s a (sad as shit) true story: when I first moved to Japan in 2008, I was unbelievably lonely. Not because I was far from “home,” but because I let my vagina make decisions without consulting my brain and ultimately alienated all the people I thought were my friends through sheer limerance/fucking stupidity (in other words, I boinked someone that the alpha femme already had her eye on…) Instead of using my balls and making amends, I decided to hide in my room and be a fucking coward instead.

Whatever, like all the choices you’ve made were good? Please, bitch.

Unfortunately, my self-imposed exile made it hard for me to go into the communal kitchen and cook shit like a noral person. I had a refrigerator and an electric kettle in my room, so I often cooked in there. You’d be surprised at how decent a meal you can make in a kettle, provided you don’t mind timidly washing it in a communal shower at 4 AM so you don’t run into anyone.

The following recipe is one of the few things I managed to make in my room when I was being antisocial. Even after I (a) stopped giving a flying shit about the emotionally-stunted numbnuts I lived with, and (b) moved into my own place, this was one of my go-to meals. And it persisted even after my future husband moved in with me, when we moved to England, and when we moved everywhere else. Oh, and I made it pretty much every day in college.

It is absolutely a household staple. No, like most of my recipes, it fails to be stupendously low-carb, BUT: you can totally adjust it to reflect your personal dietary needs. It has a decent wallop of protein, it’s filling, it’s fairly unruffling for those who aren’t very adventurous, and it’s not horribly expensive.

Although I find CostCo produce to be rather craptastic, this is one of those dishes where not-amazing ingredients get smoothed over with a little basil and lemon juice. If you like this and are one of those people who can eat the same thing for a few days without going BLEEEERGH, I suggest you stock up on the three main ingredients at Costco.

INSALATA TRICOLORE (Caprese salad with avocado)

Serves: 2

1 large tomato or two small tomatoes

1 avocado

Fresh mozzarella cheese

Fresh basil

Olive oil

1 lemon

Balsamic or apple cider vinegar

Salt and pepper to taste

 

1. Slice all vegetables and cheese

2. Add to plate in fancy fashion (or just cram it on there)

3. For the dressing, use: juice of 1 lemon, olive oil, vinegar. Quantities of the latter two to taste.

4. Season. If not using fresh basil, dried is okay.

 

DIETARY HACKS:

Vegan: use smoked or flavoured tofu in place of the cheese.

I NEED MORE PROTEIN, DAMMIT: Use smoked or flavoured tofu WITH the cheese.

I NEED FEWER CARBS: Eliminate the avocado OR the tomato, but not both. Add bacon.

THIS IS TOO WEIRD BECAUSE I AM DUMB: It’s tomato with the whiter kind of pizza cheese! Avocados are the thing in guacamole, so if you like guacamole, avocados are okay.

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I have no choice. I’m from Upstate NY; I MUST eat a combination of beans and greens at every opportunity.

Our Bountiful Basket this week included a whole whack of collard greens, as well as carrots, celery, and a load of other goodies. To be honest, I thought the collard greens were kale- except I hate kale, so I was pleasantly surprised, after resigning myself to a prickly mouthful of utter shit, to see that I had some real edible greens to work with! (Sorry, kale lovers. I know there are many of you, but I just can’t join your numbers.)

This dish is awesome, if for no other reason than it’s totally customizable. If you haven’t noticed, most of the stuff I post has that quality. I do this on purpose- my husband hates 85% of vegetables, although he’s getting better, I don’t eat meat, he doesn’t eat carbs (and I try to limit my own intake, although not hugely.)

I’ll post my suggestions for customizing this dish after the recipe. By the by, I should say this is based on a recipe from Bistro Katie for a white bean and kale casserole. Enjoy!

(By the way, if you’re a displaced Upstate New York-er like myself, you might enjoy this blog about Upstate cuisine. You would not, however, enjoy my least favourite aunt’s recipe for chicken riggies.)

BEANS AND GREENS CASSEROLE

Serves 2, maybe 4

You need the following:

1 bunch collard greens, kale, or spinach (you could use frozen or canned, if you want, but whyever would one?)

1 carrot

2 ribs of celery

1 diced tomato

Broth of your choice (roughly 1 cup or less)

1 ear of corn, kernels cut off (use frozen or canned here if you like, it’s just corn!)

1 can beans (the original recipe called for white beans, and I did buy some, but the noodlebrain at Albertson’s forgot to put them in my bag! No matter, I used a can of kidney beans and they turned out great. Stick to beans in the “seems legit for something European-tasting” family and you’ll do fine.)

1/2 onion

Garlic (as usual, I insist you use as much garlic as you want. I am Greek and therefore refuse to limit anyone’s garlic consumption.)

Olive oil

Balsamic vinegar

Thyme

Rosemary

Paprika

Basil

Dill

Cayenne Pepper

1/2 cup almond flour

1/2 cup grated, shredded, or “shaky” Parmesan cheese (Because I am a ridiculously huge fan of Home Movies [and anything that Brendon Small does], I refer to the kind of Parmesan you buy that resembles sawdust as “shaky cheese.” I buy it at all because my husband insists, even though I normally frown on that sort of thing.)

INSTRUCTIONIFICATION:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.

2. Chop the onions, carrot, celery, and garlic, and cook in a bit of olive oil. Get it to the point where things begin to soften, but not to the point where things are fully cooked.

3. In a separate saucepan (if you want to heat it up) or bowl (if you don’t care), combine the broth with the tomato and get to the simmering point (or don’t if you don’t care. This ain’t Nazi Germany, y’all, it’s shizz on a stove.) Add this mixture to the other veggies, and simmer.

4. After veggies are fairly cookified, add the greens. Cook down. This will obviously take longer depending on the age and toughness of the greens involved, but once everything looks bright, wet, and a bit smaller, you’re good.

5. Add beans and spices, then bring to a simmer again.

6. In a separate receptacle, combine the almond flour and parmesan with a couple teaspoons of olive oil.

7. Pour the delightful veggie mixture into an oven-safe casserole dish.

8. Top with almond flour-Parmesan mixture.

9. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

SUBSTITUTIONS:

For normal humans: use breadcrumbs instead of almond flour, and leave off the Parm if you like.

For serious low-carbers: Use soybeans or a meat instead of the other beans. Top solely with cheese if you don’t want to mess around with flour at all. You also can use any oil you prefer to olive oil.

For vegans: Leave the Parm off, and you’ll be just fine.

For Jedi: Use the Force to heat everything to the desired temperature.

As usual, my food pictures suck, so here is a shot of a handsome gentleman:

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If you don’t think Gul Dukat is weirdly attractive, you got problems, son.

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