Archive for March, 2012

Reading through a food blog when I noticed the author bleeped the word “porn.”

Like, she actually wrote p*rn.

I don’t know about you guys, but in my experience, an asshole looks way more like an asterisk than an “o” does. Therefore, she has offended me by putting a browneye right in the middle of a perfectly good word that describes something legal, safe, and healthy. Unlike a butthole, which can fart right in your eye and make you go blind!


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Full disclosure: I have never had chicken, veal, or eggplant parmesan. I don’t know why. I like eggplant, I love cheese, I love marinara sauce- why was this never an option?

For some stupid reason, I never go for Italian food. It’s not that I don’t like it, I’m just very, very wary of it. Growing up in Upstate NY, EVERYONE is Italian (except me) and EVERYONE cooks their signature upstate “Italian” dishes. These include things like spiedies, which I was never a fan of even when I ate meat (marinated chicken always tasted too “jiggly” to me, I dunno) and chicken riggies, which my horrible sociopathic aunt used to serve at every barbecue. CHICKEN SHOULD NOT BE COVERED IN BABY-PINK SAUCE, OKAY? Vom.

Anyways, I saw this recipe over at Our Life In Food, which can I just say? It is so refreshing to see a low-carb blog that isn’t militant and chock-full of misinformation about what “paleo” means.*

The recipe can be found here, and following is my review:


It’s textured, it’s got yummy fried cheese bits, it’s vegetarian AND gluten-free, and you get to slather everything in mozzarella and parmesan and marinara sauce. It really is a great little recipe that strikes a good balance between meatiness and still being veggie, and if you wanted, you could pack even more vegetables into it- zucchini, spinach, even some nice sauteed leeks would go well with it.

Definitely a make-again; my husband called it “fantastic” and I ate my entire portion in about three minutes.


Here’s your unrelated pic:


* I’m an anthropologist and you probably are not. Let’s just agree to disagree here.

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In college, my friend Sean always used to make what he called “three things from a can.” These concoctions were pretty much what they sounded like, plus a healthy dose of seasoning. They almost always turned out well.

This is my four-years-post-undergrad version of that. Although at 30 carbs a serving, it’s not particularly low-carb, it’s totally vegetarian, chock full of protein, and full of stuff that’s generally good for you. Carnivores can definitely replace the chickpeas with shredded chicken or turkey- I think either of those will go nicely in this.

On another note, when I lived in Japan, everyone tried to convince me that cheese and curry are a wicked combo. I refused- Japanese curry is sweet and Japanese cheese is often that horrible plastic crap, and I couldn’t see them being very nice together. This, made with real Indian curry and cheddar cheese that actually TASTES like something, makes me wonder what I was missing all that time, ’cause this is the excellentness.

Makes four medium-sized bowls or three larger helpings.

Carb count: 30 g (if four servings)
Calories: 337
Fat: 18 grams
Protein: 14 grams

1 can of chickpeas (or roughly 425 g of non-canned chickpeas.)
1 can of diced tomatoes
Roughly 150 grams of cheddar cheese
2 tbsp Olive oil
2 shallots
2 cloves of garlic
Black pepper
Indian curry powder (available anywhere these days, really- I actually got mine from the Malaysian section of my favourite Chinese grocery, but the writing’s in Sanskrit and it tastes awesome.)
Cayenne pepper (optional)

1. Saute diced shallots and garlic in olive oil until they are tender and translucent.
2. Add chickpeas and cook, stirring frequently, for about five minutes.
3. Pour in tomatoes and add spices. Cook until hot throughout.
4. Add cheddar cheese and stir until all cheese is melted.
5. Serve by itself, or over cauliflower rice (or real rice!)

And for your unrelated picture, here’s this:

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